Motherhood is hard. Honestly, there have been days that I pat myself on the back just for keeping them alive for the day. Seems simple enough, right? Well, tell that to a mom who walked out of the living room to switch over a load of laundry, only to be interrupted by a deafening scream because their toddler jumped off the back of the couch, all while older brother is watching it unfold.
Now, take that times four, and this is my life. Don't get me wrong, I love everything about this Mom life, but hell hath no fury like a toddler who wants mac and cheese for lunch for the fourth time this week!
When I envisioned this last maternity leave, I thought it would be a little hard just because four kids is, well, kind of a lot! Plus, I'm at home with a new baby and a toddler, my sleep schedule will be different, you know, the usual concerns, but I've had twins, so, I can totally handle it.
Sweet baby Jesus, how the working mom forgets what stay at home mom life is like! The twins are easy. At nine, you're pretty self-sufficient, outside of some spelling tests and feeding them, they've got this whole life thing down pretty well. Even the baby is pretty predictable, same old thing every three to five hours. Eat, sleep, poop, and sprinkle in some play time every now and then, he's set. Then there's Kinsley, our toddler, a sweet little chubby-faced two year old...well, this one kicked my ass.
Little Miss Kinny is our wild child. She is the only one (so far) that will go from sweet and loving to refusing to listen at the drop of a hat, she can yell louder than me (yes, I yell, shit happens), she can literally find playdoh ANYWHERE. Where the hell is it coming from? How do you have it? Who is helping you get these. These are things I need to know. If she doesn't like your answer, her immediate response, "I'm done wissssss you." (You know how cute that little toddler speech impediment is? It's still cute when they're being ass holes). She is also the only one of my children to ever have a potty mouth. Yes, if you read my blog, you clearly see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but the twins haven't said a cuss word a day in their lives. At least not in my presence. Kinsley literally gives zero eff's. Somehow, she has convinced herself she runs the show. Don't get me wrong, she isn't some awful hellion that no one wants to be around, in fact most people don't even see anything but her sweet little cherub side, but in real life, homegirl is spicy!
This past week at Hobby Lobby, an older lady told her how cute she was, and how much she liked her pretty dress...Kinsley immediately smiled, batting her big, blue eyes and said, "look at my fookin' shoes." Ohhhh my god, what did she just say? Did she really just say that? To a grandma!? My only saving grace was the lady was old, and my child sounds like Conor McGregor when she swears. Bless her heart, the lady was convinced she said "excuse me"...yes, lets just go with that version of events.
Sometimes, parenting her alone all day comes down to straight survival.
She recently took it upon herself to refuse taking naps. Coincidentally, it just started during my maternity leave. I mean, who needs sleep anyway? Are you even a Mom if you get more than a three hour stretch with this many kids in the home? It's been a real struggle, because she's also incredibly tall for her age, so even with her mattress dropped to the ground, she can still crawl out. There's just no way to make her take a nap.
Or is there? Cue the good ol' annual Halloween decorations. Yeah, I said what you think I did. To be more specific, last year we added to our collection, Kinsley was adamant she get a new baby doll...the baby doll in question, a blood spattered zombie baby, but she LOVED it and we went with it. Let's just say that feeling has faded during its absence, and has since turned to terror. Our child has literally shut herself in her room to nap the entire week, all because we simply placed this monster baby on a box in the garage. Now, if we even open the door, she runs and says she's ready for ni-night, and I gotta say, I'm not complaining. Call it what you want, ladies, but this is textbook motherhood survival. Honestly, I couldn't be more proud of our accidental ingenuity. My husband and I have high-fived every night at bedtime since he brought that box of decorations down from the attic.
Moral of the story, motherhood isn't always sunshine and rainbows...sometimes it's fookin' zombie babies. But I am loving every waking minute of it. Literally, I'm awake every minute.
The days are long, but the years are short.